LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. - Children, innocently letting their emotions overwhelm them, ran around the lobby of the Swan and Dolphin Resort Sunday morning, eyeing the holiday decorations, gifts scattered around the enormous Christmas trees, hoping to catch an early glimpse of Santa Claus before the big day.
By the evening, the sugar high will wear off, and they’ll be exhausted, headed back to the airport with TSA officials returning them to reality.
Replacing them on this massive Walt Disney property are thousands of cantankerous adults, mostly grumpy men whose only objective these next five days is to return home with a baseball team that’s a lot better than it was when they arrived.
They’ve got no interest in the Sugar Plum Candy Stand, the nightly Campfire and S’mores, the tree lighting ceremony or even the Dancing Light Special.
They just want some damn ballplayers, and will gladly hibernate the rest of the holiday season with a World Series championship parade dancing in their heads.
It’s baseball’s annual winter meetings, a convention where 30 teams and their entire front offices and field managers storm the hotel, followed in close pursuit by hundreds of agents and reporters.
This is where the New York Yankees can formally announce the acquisition of National League MVP Giancarlo Stanton, say how they still want to somehow squeeze under the $197 million luxury tax despite assuming $265 million of Stanton’s contract, while still somehow adding free-agent pitching.
This is where the Miami Marlins, a franchise $400 million in debt, can look in the cameras with a straight face and tell us they really liked the prospects they received in return for Stanton and Gordon, while skipping down the hallways, knowing they just saved $303 million without those two contracts.
This is where agent Scott Boras will be peddling the likes of offensive stars Eric Hosmer, J.D. Martinez and Mike Moustakas, starter Jake Arrieta and closer Greg Holland, too, telling teams they can’t possibly win without them.
This is where the Boston Red Sox, who won two consecutive division titles but fired their manager anyway, get cozy with Boras, desperately needing one of his sluggers, Hosmer or Martinez, with Boras trying to convince them they actually need two.
This is where the St. Louis Cardinals and San Francisco Giants, still seething at all the wasted hours pursuing Stanton only to be rebuffed by the player exercising his no-trade rights, return with a vengeance, letting everyone know they’ve got pockets full of cash and are ready to spend it.
The Cardinals, who offered pitching prospects Sandy Alcantara and Jack Flaherty, and were willing to pay nearly $250 million of Stanton’s $295 million guarantee, will return to the bargaining table with the Marlins. This time, they’ll focus their talks strictly on outfielder Marcell Ozuna, who they wanted in the first place, after hitting .312 with 37 homers last year.
Oh, and while they’re at it, they’ll be sitting down with the other Florida team, too, the Tampa Bay Rays. The Rays, who have seen the disparity grow even greater in the AL East with Stanton coming aboard, are listening to anyone and everyone.
The Cardinals are making no secret they’d love to land Rays closer Alex Colome, who led the American League with 47 saves, and will take Gold Glove third baseman Evan Longoria and the remaining $92 million of his contract, along with him.
Their nemesis, the Chicago Cubs, want in, as well. They already signed starter Tyler Chatwood, but would love to get an audience with Tampa Bay to bring ace Chris Archer back home, too, even if it means parting with beloved slugger Kyle Schwarber or Ian Happ. If not, they likely will dip back into the free-agent market for starter Alex Cobb, whose only pitching coach has been Jim Hickey, now reunited with manager Joe Maddon in Chicago.
The Giants, who offered pitching prospect Tyler Beede and catching prospect Aramis Garcia while taking on about $230 million of Stanton’s contract, now will be trying to buy their way back to respectability.
After hitting a major-league-low 128 home runs — a mere 113 shy of the Yankees — they're frantically seeking a reincarnation of Barry Bonds, and if they can’t sign Martinez, who hit 45 home runs in just 119 games last season with the Detroit Tigers and Arizona Diamondbacks, they likely will turn to slugger Jay Bruce at a discount price.
There are so many teams who need impact bats right now that the Baltimore Orioles and Toronto Blue Jays realize they’d be foolish not to listen.
The Orioles insist they aren’t shopping All-Star third baseman Manny Machado, but revealed that they’re listening to offers. This is a guy who could get $400 million a year from now in free agency, but if you really want him, what better way to get acquainted than spending the 2018 season with him.
The Blue Jays find themselves in a similar predicament. Their passionate fan base is imploring them to win now, but privately, they’d instead love to rebuild the farm system. They will listen to offers for third baseman Josh Donaldson knowing that a year from now, he’ll be gone as a free agent, too.
The Chicago White Sox stole the show a year ago at these meetings by trading ace Chris Sale to the Red Sox, and while they’re about to begin Year 2 of their rebuilding project, are shopping Jose Abreu, who has driven in at least 100 runs in each of his first four seasons with 30 or more homers in three of the years. The Red Sox are listening, but the White Sox would have to be overwhelmed to move him.
The Detroit Tigers, who unloaded ace Justin Verlander last summer, now have second baseman Ian Kinsler on the block, with the Los Angeles Angels and New York Mets intrigued. They also have future Hall of Famer Miguel Cabrera available, but with $192 million over the next six years still on the books, are waiting for the phone to ring.
The Pittsburgh Pirates could also keep teams from entering the free agent market with ace Gerrit Cole and center fielder Andrew McCutchen available, saying they want to win a World Series again one day, but still can’t afford their stars.
We may not see any executives take advantage of the free swan paddle boat rides, or swimming at the Mermaid Academy, or even tucked in with the elves, but with a few adult beverages inside them, there is Karaoke at Kimonos, adults-only after 11 p.m.
So shoo the kids away, take a deep breath, and watch baseball executives turn this joint into their own winter playground, with a week of baseball activity that has all of the promise of that thrill ride brought to you by the Houston Astros and Los Angeles Dodgers two months ago in the World Series.
This week is threatening to get absolutely goofy.
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