Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon sure likes to whine. When his little Cubbies don't win a game, he finds a way to spin it into some spiritual theater about heroes and villains in the world of baseball. Get a grip, Joe. You led a team that hadn't won a championship in 108 years to the Promised Land, and yet, here you are whining about every little wrong that goes the Cubs way.

For those of you who don't believe in storing information, let's go to the example board---

Exhibit A: Joe likens the Cardinals to Tony Soprano after Anthony Rizzo is hit by a pitch in 2015. Matt Belisle struck Rizzo after Matt Holliday was hit by Dan Haren. It happens in baseball. Since you can't simply drop the glove and fight each other to solve a difference, messages are sent via high speed pitches to the body. Never mind the fact that Rizzo crowds the plate like I would crowd a coffee stand. The Cardinals were deemed vigilantes since Maddon's star was struck by a pitch. Violin strumming time commences.

Exhibit B: Almost a year later, Maddon took a shot at the Cardinals after a controversial call went against Bryan Price's Reds. Yes, the double off the bat of Yadier Molina cleared struck the wall behind left field and was a ground rule double which wouldn't have scored Matt Carpenter to win the game, but Price waited too long to challenge and the decision was final. Maddon took his chance to whine about it, though.

Maddon told the Chicago Tribune that it's tough pickings for a manager at Busch Stadium. He elaborated further, "I’ll defend Bryan 100 percent because I’ve in that (Busch Stadium) dugout and you can’t see that corner,” Maddon said. “You have to have some kind of lag time there in order to get all the information back to you. It’s impossible.”

Please, Joe. What do you care? Every manager in the National League deals with it, and don't act like Wrigley Field is a picnic to manage in with the construction of that playing field. Price could have challenged and chose not to. Get over it Joe. That's two violin strums for you.

Exhibit C: After a slow start to the season, Maddon blamed the rough go for the Cubbies to a waiting game during a rain delay and a tough schedule. Also, winning that World Series title was so draining.

Joe, let me get something straight. You are making excuses for your team playing bad baseball on rainouts and unforeseen challenges like extended playoff runs. I guess the Cardinals can liken the slow 2007 start to the 2006 title and the 2012 gate rush to the 2011 title, right? These are highly paid millionaires who have a job and that is to win baseball games. No excuses needed. Just play.

The Cardinals have seen three rain outs-and stand atop the division.

Joe went on to explain how "tired" his Cubs are. I am going to need a new violin before I sympathize with professional athletes. When my wife doesn't sell enough tile to hit plan at her store, I hope she can just blame a long previous month for the reason why her store wouldn't be performing up to par.

It's a tired practice to blame exhaustion for a team's struggles a month into a season. The last time I checked, there are 162 games in a season and it's not even a quarter of the way finished in 2017.

Exhibit D: Joe Maddon complains about the no slide rule at second base, calling baseball soft.

Why? Go ahead and guess. I'll take a sip of coffee while you think about it.

Let me help you. The Cubs lost a run on Saturday due to a Cubs runner taking out a Cardinals fielder. An Anthony Rizzo groundball back to Carlos Martinez was thrown to shortstop Aledmys Diaz, who was taken out by Ian Flapp. While Kyle Schwarber initially crossed home plate, the play was overturned and deemed a double play. There are rules, Joe.

Next, we will hear Maddon complain about yielding in traffic and what the real meaning behind a crosswalk entails. He may even complain about why the scoreboard must read 0-0 before a game begins. For now, the reality is the Cubs broke the rules, and lost a run in the process. Mike Matheny's response to Maddon's outrage was pure brilliance, spelling the rare occasion where the Cardinals manager held the upper hand on his counterpart.

Matheny has actually taken several collisions at homeplate, so he knows a thing or two about the severity. Maddon's only collisions are imaginary- or when he is riding around a city on his fold up bicycle.

Maddon likes to make excuses for a team that doesn't need any in the first place. The Cubs are good team capable of going on a run at any time, so why does their manager sound like Tina Fey on the set of a deplorable comedy she only co-wrote?

Save the whiny excuses, man. You're better than that, or at least you seemed that way in Tampa Bay.

Since you joined the National League Central, you've taken a big huff at the team that didn't pick you as their manager and the one you are now looking up at in the division, despite your star talent.

While Matheny isn't and may never be the quality of manager Maddon is at the moment, I find solace and comfort in the fact that the Cardinals manager won't lower himself to the grade of blaming other teams and factors for his players' struggles.

Now, excuse me. I need to play my violin for the sad Joe Maddon currently devising a new reason why his Cubs aren't over .500.