The new year is a time for fresh beginnings, new week-long diets and three-day stretches of sobriety. Such hope and joy.
I'm prescribing one New Year's resolution to all our fandom for 2018: DROP THE HATE.
2017 was a tough year in the STL, the Blues lost in the playoffs yet again, the Cardinals were irrelevant, the Billikens are average, and the Rams hired a coach and destroyed the NFL out in the City of Angels. In all, a lot of things to hate. So, I sent up a flare up to all my internet pals, mailbag style, for the definitive list of who the Gateway hates the most. Here it is, one last time, let's get every bit of hate out and leave it in the past.
From David Doyle Jr.: Ed Belfour
Ed! Though much hated by all the fans of the Note, he did provide me one of my childhood's best memories, trying to destroy the goal after Hull and the boys swept him from the playoffs like spilled garbage on a basement floor. Eat it Bel-boy!
From Matt Kamp: Tom Brady
If you know Matt Kamp, you know if Matt Kamp hates someone, they deserve it. Old Golden Boy Brady is quite hate-able. He and Justin Verlander must have some kinda bet going on as to who wins life. The thing about Brady that grinds my rather rusted gears is that I know in my soul, off the football field he's a borderline dotard under a good head of hair.
From Seanna Tucker: Everyone who keeps us from getting a basketball team
A-men sister. As a lifelong hoops addict, this makes zero sense to me. Let this sink in…St. Louis has more NBA Championships than Stanley Cups. The Grizzlies would have been ours if not for an impatient owner. The town will support an exciting team. We used to put 19k in the Arena every night in the days of Spoonball.
From Jeffrey Trotter, Tracy Rode, and Wes Wingate: Johnny Cueto
He ended a dude's career by kicking him in the dome, and he is not in the UFC. He's a starting pitcher. Yes, his stuff is at times electric, but if you end a career by booting a guy in the skull, how are you still allowed to be in the bigs? This guy should be picking up spent sunflower seed shells in the independent league.
From William Patrick Schuh: “I feel like Jack Clark has become the Steven Seagal of the Cardinals.”
I mean…I'm creative, but I cannot top that.
From Andrea Gioia: Whoever invented that stupid power play dance
Yeah, what in the name of the Cavallini Brothers is that thing? What are we doing? I go along with it like some Manchurian Candidate then feel immediately used and cheap when it is over. Sheep…all of us.
From Tom Bartels and Kevin Schuh: Bob Probert
Probert had…ahh…had some issues. Just check the dude's Wikipedia page. Look, he was a goon. Plain and simple. And not that lovable, borderline insane Tony Twist kinda of goon, but a mean spirited “I want to injure you” goon. Probert had talent, and was twice a twenty-goal scorer, and an All-Star in 87-88. But, good lord, what a loathsome human.
From Stephen Nations and every Blues Fan living and breathing: Mike “Blanking” Keenan
Keenan got the second most mentions of anyone on the most hated list. He had Hull, Gretzky, MacInnis, Pronger, and Fuhr, and screwed it up. He insulted and degraded Hull, ran the Greatest Hockey player who ever lived out of town on purpose, and was then oblivious as to why the people of St. Louis didn't love him. He ruined hockey for me as a teenager and I have never been a true fan again since. And that Keenan stache…he looked like a discount Thomas Dewey…losers, both of them.
From Josh Mosely and every other warm body in the Bi-State: Stan Kroenke
Ol' Kroenk was the winner in a landslide. He purchased the majority share of the Rams with the explicit purpose of moving them to Los Angeles to double their value to only his benefit. He had zero, zero intention of keeping them here. He cares not about winning, not about community, not about people. He cares solely about money. Money above all. That is his mantra, and will be the first and last lines of his obituary. He is a waste of a human being and a pock upon professional sports.
Whew, that was cathartic. Don't we all feel better now? Slough it off like an old skin and move into the future refreshed and released upon the streets of our city anew. We have so much to love and be grateful for. The secret weapon is back, Greg Maddux's brother is in charge of our pitching staff, the Blues will make the playoffs again, Mizzou is headed toward the tournament, and the Arch Grounds are nearing completion for an amazing St. Louis summer to come. Smile my friends, for as Paul Westerberg once said, “A good day is any day you're alive.”
