By Caroline Cornish
GORHAM, Maine (WCSH/CNN) - It's been almost one year since toddlerAyla Reynolds disappeared from her father's home in Maine.
The girl's mother says she refuses to give up hope that she'll see her daughter again.
One year later, even after moving apartments, Trista Reynolds holds on to Ayla's favorite things in the garage, just in case.
"People, I get told I'm crazy for keeping all this stuff, but I can't get rid of it. I just, I can't," she said.
Reynolds can't give up hope completely, but she knows that state police wouldn't say they believe Ayla is no longer alive without evidence. She says therapy is helping her begin to grieve for her daughter.
"No matter where Ayla is, she's still with me all day every day, you know. And I've got memories," said Reynolds.
The memories are in pictures all around her, and Ayla's little brother, Raymond, keeps Ayla's memory alive in his own way. At 20 months, he looks just like her.
"He likes to pull his clothes out of his drawer like she did and he gives that look. And there was this one day that he was doing it I looked at him, and it was her face right there. It was like, wow," said Reynolds.
But she worries that others are starting to forget Ayla. She says state police now only call when she calls them first. They aren't updating her constantly the way they were before.
"Everybody says I have to trust in them, but my trust is slowly fading, and it's just, contact is barely at all," she said.
She also fights her own guilty. Ayla was in the care of her father, Justin DiPietro, because Reynolds had gone into rehab for alcoholism.
"Everyone keeps saying I'm being hard on myself and I just need to stop, but there's always going to be that one little part of me that's going to blame myself, beat myself up and just hate myself for everything that's happened," said Reynolds.
But she knows guilt and blame won't bring Ayla home, and she's proud of her sobriety - one year in October.
She says as we approach the anniversary of Ayla's disappearance and Christmas, all she wants is for someone to give police that tip they've been waiting for.