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Ballwin Air Force veteran who used classical music to soothe PTSD dies by suicide

His suicide is another painful reminder that many of our military veterans are struggling.

BALLWIN, Mo. — We introduced you to military veteran Terry Kasper in December. He wanted to share how he used classical piano to manage his post-traumatic stress. Unfortunately, this story doesn’t have a happy ending.

At the time of our last story on Terry Kasper, he said his message to people with post-traumatic stress is don’t give up. His suicide is another painful reminder that many of our military veterans are struggling.

And one of their sacrifices is often mental health. It’s estimated that 22 military veterans a day take their own lives.

His family started a GoFundMe page to help cover living expenses.

Below is the story as reported in December.

BALLWIN, Mo. – Music great Elton John said "Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours.”

Terry Kasper of Ballwin agrees that Elton is onto something. For Kasper, music is mind medicine that calms him and provides a release from post-traumatic stress.

"All of a sudden, bam! It hits out of nowhere, just a vision or something from that period and it will just ruin everything," said Kasper. "It's very exhausting. And if it affects everything. It affects your diet, your sleep, it affects your ability to function. And I don't think a lot of people really realize just how much."

During 22 years in the Air Force, Kasper saw things he'd rather not remember. Among his most challenging assignments was performing mortuary science on fallen heroes of Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom.

"Sometimes you don't know what you're going to see. Sometimes you just see a torso, or you'll just see limbs, or you'll see something unrecognizable or sometimes they'll be intact, but it just, each time was very scary because you didn't know what to expect,” he said. "Some things you just can't wipe out and forget about. You learn how to deal with it, but you'll never forget it."

According to the National Center for PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after someone goes through a traumatic event like combat, assault or disaster.

Most people have some stress reactions after a trauma, but if the reactions don't go away over time or disrupt your life, you may have PTSD. It's estimated that between 11 percent and 20 percent of veterans have post-traumatic stress.

Music has become a refuge for Kasper, to clear the head and fix frayed nerves, specifically classical piano.

"I'll sit down, and I'll start, and I'll be off somewhere else and then it takes me away and everything is gone for a little bit," said Kasper. "I think that's a good therapy for me."

Kasper's one-two punch for PTSD: music and family, his wife and two sons.

"They've been such a huge support system and just give me so much purpose and happiness,” he said.

Asked why he wanted to publicly share his personal PTSD struggle, Kasper said he wanted to give hope to other veterans, encouraging them to proactively seek meaningful connections: family, friends, other veterans, volunteering, therapy, and in his case, music.

"I think music is very important and it could be a very good useful tool," said Kasper. "I wanted to share some things that I had that might be able to help other veterans.

"There's hope out there. There's things you can do to help you cope."

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