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Community activist shares harrowing experiences in poetry book

"I use my transparency to invite other people to a space where they can feel comfortable with sharing their truth and honest self"
Credit: St. Louis American
At 38, Tracy "T-Spirit" Stanton has lived a life full of trauma and pain stemming back to her childhood.

ST. LOUIS — Transparency in sharing all she has experienced in her 38 years comes naturally for Tracy “T-Spirit” Stanton, a published author, poet and community activist.

The average person most likely would be ashamed or afraid to openly talk about their past if the story includes dysfunctional familial ties, drug addiction, prostitution and incarceration.

Her childhood trauma began at age seven when she saw her brother’s lifeless body on a bathroom floor after he was electrocuted. He had slipped from the tub and landed on a washing machine.

His unexpected passing brought sadness to her heartbroken family, her mother especially. She suffered a mental breakdown after the tragedy. 

Her mental state caused a divide in what had been a normal family dynamic. The family split. Stanton’s brother moved in with their father, who was addicted to crack. She stayed with her mom. While with her mom, they struggled to find a stable living environment.

They dealt with homelessness, moving from home to home and the indignity of being kicked out of places they lived.

In the midst of the turmoil, Stanton’s mother gave birth to another daughter. Stanton became her little sister’s guardian, even though she was a child herself.

Eventually, they moved into a family and social services housing facility. Stanton thought her mother’s mental state was intact since she was receiving the help and treatment.

That was all an illusion. One day, the staff told her she had to move in with her father and that her sister would be put up for adoption.

After that day, she never saw her mother again. At 10 years old, she learned her mother died from lung cancer.

Stanton was enrolled in a gifted program at school while living with her father, who was still addicted to crack. Her neighborhood was rife with heavy drug and alcohol abuse.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have a positive role model or voice of reason to help cultivate her academic gifts and talent. Not long after, an aunt stepped in to help raise Stanton, but by then she was smoking marijuana, drinking and having sex at 12.

Stanton and her aunt eventually settled in north St. Louis County. She graduated from McCluer High School a year early, went to Lincoln University for a semester and was expelled for fighting.

Not only was she still using drugs, she started selling them and objectifying herself to prostiuttion, which led to her incarceration.

In 2017, she came home from prison and made the necessary changes she needed to better herself and has since been on a clean slate.

With the help of various community organizations and a 12-step program, Stanton has maintained a high-level of sobriety. Her life changing journey has catapulted into opportunities that allow her to help others by telling her story and providing help to formerly incarcerated individuals.

“When I came home from prison in 2017, I was introduced to myself without the use of any outsource that causes me not to be okay with reality,” Stanton said. “I was able to heal and process all those layers of trauma I’ve experienced since I was 12.”

Rather than dwell on those experiences, Stanton instead unapologetically shares her truth in her book “Some Things Must Be Heard,” which encompasses vulnerable, honest and thought-provoking poems about her past, present and future. In accompaniment with the book, readers can also scan a QR code that allows them to listen to a playlist of her reciting her most impactful pieces.

“I use my transparency to invite other people to a space where they can feel comfortable with sharing their truth and honest self,” Stanton said.

“The more that I gave my pain air the less power that it had over me coming home and going through my process of recovery and transformation.”

Stanton said her book has received a lot of positive feedback namely for her being so open about her past. While others’ experiences may differentiate from hers, she still encourages everyone to feel confident and comfortable enough to tell their story.

“If I can have compassion for myself, give myself a break and not be so hard on myself then I can ultimately look at the next individual and be able to project that same type of grace.” Stanton said.

Stanton’s book is available for purchase on https://tspirit.net/.

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