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Top 10 things the Cardinals could announce today

Look, it's Monday and Thanksgiving is in four days so laugh a little.
Harrison Barden-USA TODAY SPORTS
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Since the Hot Stove wasn't warm enough, the St. Louis Cardinals teased their fans earlier this month with an announcement that on Nov. 19, there would be a big announcement. In the picture accompanying the preview, Ozzie Smith was doing his famous backflip...in a powder blue Cardinals jersey.

While the majority of fans expect the team to announce today that the old-fashioned baby blue jerseys are making a comeback this season as a fourth (?) jersey for the team, I wanted to play around with the mystery and fire off ten ideas of what the news could possibly be. Suspend belief for a second.

10) Mike Matheny is returning as a special advisor to Mike Shildt, and will conduct moody advice sessions with chess included for young players struggling to adapt to a game with ZERO experience. Matheny is an expert at taking a big job with zero experience.

9) For the first time in 69 years, the access to the Poplar Street Bridge for fans going back to Illinois after a game will be more than a single lane of traffic. This would be amazing and highly unlikely.

8) Willie McGee is going to wear the powder blue jerseys and play one game in the outfield against the Milwaukee Brewers to bring back the feels about the 1982 World Series.

7) Michael Girsch will actually be allowed to speak at press conferences this year after a year of silence.

6) Albert Pujols is coming back, and don't worry your little hearts...because Fernando Salas is coming with him. Forget Bryce Harper. Pujols isn't 40 years old yet. He can still play right field. Combined, Pujols and Salas are less than 80 years old.

5) Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred has gotten his wish for extra innings starting with a runner on second base. The Cardinals will be the test dummy for this ridiculous experiment, starting on opening day of 2019.

4) The Cardinals are in the midst of contract negotiations to sign former Cardinal Jon Jay to a eight-year contract worth $250 million. Hey, it's less than Harper, folks.

3) Once a year, on a getaway day at Busch Stadium, the team will host "Armchair Manager Day" at the ballpark. One fan will get to manage three innings of a real baseball game. More importantly, they will actually place a small couch in the dugout. You must be a member of at least six Cardinal Facebook pages to qualify.

2) In a surprising move, Mike Shildt will step down as manager and Yadier Molina will be the first player-manager in 32 years, because let's face it, Molina makes all the decisions anyway.

1) Bill DeWitt Jr. has sold the team to Stan Kroenke. Don't worry though, Stan has promised the Cardinals will remain in St. Louis.

Look, it's Monday and Thanksgiving is in four days. Laugh a little, and know deep down that the announcement probably centers around a jersey color and will be a semi-letdown for most fans.

Let's finish up November and get into the real month of Hot Stove action, which is December.

Thanks for reading,

DLB

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