ST. LOUIS — Recently on Today in St. Louis, we showed you the unique collaboration happening between parents and school administrators in the Lindbergh school district. A group called the Upstanders was created by parents to find solutions to the bullying problem. When 5 On Your Side found out about these efforts, we wanted to get involved too. We invited Tina Meier, of the St. Charles based Megan Meier Foundation, to help the group reach their goals.
Inside a room at the St. Louis County Library on Musick Avenue, emotions run high. Lindbergh parents and school administrators all gathered because their kids have experienced bullying.
10-year-old Gabi Knarr does what she can to be the bigger person at Dressel Elementary.
"The bullying, it’s hard. I want them to know that people go through things like they do and I want to help them out," explained Gabi.
The kids and their parents often feel helpless when the bullying continues and schools say their hands are tied and they've done all they can.
Gabi’s mom Sarah said, "It’s heartbreaking. You experience it as a child, but in our generation, you left school and it didn't follow you home."
Tina Meier with the Megan Meier Foundation came from St. Charles to offer her advice to the group.
"What I will do is give you the raw bad of what I see. There are webs of situations that happen. Especially when you bring social media into it and social media is absolutely in our elementary schools," she explained.
Meier has spent the last 10 years traveling the country speaking to schools about bullying.
Her daughter, who attended Immaculate Conception in Dardenne Praire, put her on this journey.
She spoke to the group of parents, "My daughter Megan took her own life. She was a 13-year-old girl who was cyberbullied by an adult neighbor pretending to be a boy."
She went on to say, "it’s very hard for us to look in the mirror and say okay I’m imperfect, I’m going to screw up as a parent."
Meier was transparent and explained how much needs to happen for real change to take place in schools when it comes to handling bullying.
"There has to be from top to bottom a protocol of how you handle it, but that also means intense training for educators," she explained.
Meier offered many suggestions on scenarios that could work. She spoke from personal experience and was peppered with questions.
One parent pleaded with Meier about her son who’s been struggling with bullying at school.
"I’ve listened to them and now what do I do?" she asked.
Meier responded, "Validate their feelings. Not their behaviors, not their actions, because it's their feelings. Then once you've done that they can calm down you can listen and then you can start working on plans together."
They were comforting words from a mother who's dealt with unimaginable heartbreak.
"I can’t comprehend what she's been through, nor would I ever want to," said one mother.
The stories of all the parents who are now a part of Upstanders are all a little different.
For Gabi, it’s about rising about the negativity.
"I did an anti-bullying shirt a year ago and I raised money for anti-bullying," she said.
But the pain and helplessness that comes with the cruel behavior of bullying is shared among all the parents, their kids and the administrators in Lindbergh who are working together for a solution.
Meier said this collaboration is something she’s rarely seen, "When you have parents and the school district wanting to work together that's where you see creative change. That is impressive and so for me it’s really heartwarming that these kids have all these champions behind them."
The next meeting of the Upstanders is happening at 9:30 AM Saturday, March 31st at The St. Louis County Library on Musick Avenue. We've been informed from the group’s founders, that since our story aired, several other districts and parents from around the area have joined and are planning to attend.
Stay with 5 On Your Side to find out the final plan they present to school administrators for how to combat bullying in Lindbergh Schools.
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