Imagine Clint Eastwood, the one from Gran Tarino and not the nice guy from the older flick with the monkey in it, walking into the St. Louis Cardinals' clubhouse after Friday's deflating 7-6 loss to the division rival Pittsburgh Pirates. I'm talking about 135 pounds of sheer 82-year-old arrogance towering over those players.
"You lazy, no good, worthless, and utterly useless bags of meat strand 4,800 runners on the bases-and expect to win the game. You load the bases three times and turn those prospective homeowners into orphans-and think victory is possible. You beat up their new pitcher and still find a way to lose. What do you call this pack of overpaid, jersey shaming humans, because it sure isn't a baseball team?"
I'd like to think Mike Shildt thought about doing something like that after the Cardinals came roaring back from a 6-2 deficit only to lose the game. In a throwback to the early commentary/recaps I was pumping out earlier, let's dissect this painful defeat and try to find five things to remember.
5) Canadian. Sexy. Beast. Yes, I'm talking about the new block of chiseled muscle in town, Tyler O'Neill. Birds on the Black columnist Kyle Reis is busy coining a nickname for the masher, but I'll just call him "I must crush you" fella. O'Neill collected three hits Friday, and once again slummed it with small-ball singles. I'd like to think he will launch one towards New York soon, but for the time being, he is showing that he doesn't have to hit it 450 feet to make a dent. He'd be the star of the game if it wasn't for that tomato crushing, beard growing, wizardry dude hitting leadoff.
4) I'm talking about Matt Carpenter, NL player of the month in July and the Machine 2.0. Carpenter is making a run for a .300 batting average, and that's only special because he was hitting .160 in the middle of May. He collected home run #27 and double #32 on Friday, pushing his overall OPS to a ridiculous .973. The leadoff home run was Carpenter's eighth of the season. He has 23 for his career. I don't think he is going to slow down, which will make us utter later this year, "we'll always have Carpenter."
3) John Gant is not ineffective all together, but he's boring. With studs like Daniel Poncedeleon and Dakota Hudson at their disposal, the Cardinals are running Gant out there. Gant owns one really good start this year, and a slew of okay to not so okay ones. He doesn't have bad stuff out there-but he rarely puts two good starts together. Gant is a guy who will keep your team in it for four innings most nights. He's better suited for long relief. It's important to point out that Ponce hasn't allowed a hit during a start in his young MLB career. Don't hurt me, small sample size police. I'm just walking here. Gant is boring. Yank him out.
2) When you strand 16 guys on the bases and lose three of them in the process with two of them coming at home plate, a win isn't a good bet. The Cardinals had the bases loaded three times and got nothing. They could have come back and put the game away with a couple timely hits. Let's not forget that the biggest problem over the past few years with the Cardinals is clutch hitting. Someone getting the hit with runners in scoring position. That was missing Friday night. Yadier Molina left eight guys out there. EIGHT!
1) It's a good time to worry about Paul DeJong. Since his return from a broken hand, DeJong's power is gone, and his hits are few and far in between. He is 3-26 with a .115 slugging percentage lately, and let's not forget he is the Cardinals third place hitter. You are going to strand runners when your third-place hitter scares pitchers in the same Ty Wiggington did during his short period in St. Louis. The .735 overall OPS can be attributed to the pre-hand break surge, but since DeJong has been lost at the plate. He's also become a liability in the field. I don't want to say Aledmys Diaz 2.0 because we aren't there yet, but DeJong needs to turn it around-and drop down in the lineup. May I recommend some salsa?
Silver Lining from a Most Unfortunate Injury: Dexter Fowler's foot. After hearing a pop while running the bases, Fowler exited the game and was diagnosed with a small fracture later in the evening. He will miss time. As President of Baseball Operations John Mozeliak often says, "these things have a way of working themselves out." With Kolten Wong returning and Harrison Bader joining O'Neill full-time in the outfield, the Cardinals' defensive attack dramatically improves.
Let's hope it leads to wins, because I don't have to tell you that it's getting late. August doesn't signify bedtime for teams, but the Cardinals need to go on a significant run if they want to keep their playoff hopes alive. That ship sailed for me weeks ago, but for the people clinging to the spare hope of October baseball, allow me to provide facts. The loss put the Cardinals 7.5 games back of the division lead and a full five games out of the second wildcard spot. They are running out of time.
The Cardinals came into the series tied with the Pirates in the standings, both team vying for a divisional comeback while keeping their eyes on the wildcard game. They scored four runs on Chris Archer, six runs total, and still found a way to lose.
Sloppy baserunning. Lack of clutch hitting. A starter that can't go even five strong innings.
The Cardinals have found a way to change the recipe on how they make their game, but there's still something off. With another piece of fat trimmed from the active roster, there's some positivity-but it's also remote. The Cardinals need to win this weekend series or risk being pushed further down in the standings.
I wish I could tell you what happens next, but I'd be as reliable as a Mexican restaurant's nutritional information guide.