ST. LOUIS — "He was such a joyful little person, always smiling and always bouncing around. My son loved church music and God, " said Michelle Hill.
Hill affectionately called her 18-year-old son, Chandler Hill, "The Chan Man."
"The Chan Man is a special individual. He's on the autism spectrum. He's full of my life surroundings," she said.
Everywhere she went, her "Chan Man" went, too.
"He was always by my side. He went with me to my parties, my book clubs and, of course, church. Everybody knows 'The Chan Man,'' his mom said.
On Monday morning, Chandler was at home with his grandmother on Athlone Avenue in north St. Louis.
"I was headed back home for the day. I thought maybe would do something to celebrate the (Dr. Martin Luther King) holiday," she said.
However, a neighbor suddenly called her to tell her their two-story brick home was engulfed with flames and thick smoke.
Initially, some thought firefighters rescued Hill's 78-year-old mom, but she later clarified her brave neighbors did that.
"My mom suffered some minor smoke inhalation and minor blisters on her hands, so physically she's okay," Hill said. "Obviously, she is not okay emotionally as we all try to deal with what happened. Firefighters literally had to drag her out because she was going through and they said there was no way she would be able to get through the fire."
Firefighters couldn't find Chandler.
"When I got there, I'm just thinking, 'Where is my baby? Where is The Chan Man?'" said said. "I didn't want to believe my baby was in that house and died."
Hill said after the raging fire, her mother sent Chandler to their living room. He hasn't been seen since.
"There was no way he could get out," Chandler's mom said.
Fire investigators said the now destroyed home is still completely frozen, making it nearly impossible to search for her missing son.
"They did send the dogs in, but like they said, it's too frozen. They couldn't get a scent anyway," Hill said.
On Thursday, crews will be back out at the fire-ravaged building on Athlone Avenue searching for Chandler's body.
In the meantime, his mother is still struggling with losing her son in such a tragic way.
"I do believe in God, but I must admit I am frustrated. I don't like this avenue. Why so devastating for such an innocent individual and soul? What happens when I realize that Chandler is not sitting here beside me? Yeah, this is much for me," she said.
Hill's coworkers rally behind her.
"We want to do everything we can for her. She lost absolutely everything including her beautiful boy Chandler," said Clarice Lipsey, Hill's coworker at the University of Missouri-St. Louis Institute of Mental Health.
"I can't perceive anything beyond this point at this time. I'm trying to fight with did the smoke overtake him because I can't wrap my mind around my son died in those flames. This is step by step for me," Hill said.
A GoFundMe campaign was created to help Hill with medical bills and memorial expenses. You can donate here.
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